Fix the feet, hop on the back

Last day, Thai massage, bit of pedicure and sightseeing on the moped.

The massage was different. Went to the "blind massage" centre, where all the practitioners have different egrees of sight handicap. First time I had a blind person jump on my back - literally.

And foot stuff. Wonderful. She must have taken about 3 kilos of dead skin from my feet (the other way would have been to cut my head off).

Fredrik the golf pro took us to the range for a free lesson. Must say, there are golf pros and golf pros. This one is both knowledgeable and very honest. If you're continually doing the same thing wrong, believe us, he'll tell you.

Moral of the tale. If you happen to be passing Hua Hin and fancy a golf lesson, or finding out the best tailor, bar, housing project, et al. Ask Fredrik

TTFN

Paul and Pia

Hua Hin. The King and I

Sad to say, but we've started the descent into minus temperatures and snow chaos back home. Staving off the inevitable with a visit to Hua Hin, one of Thailand's lesser known beauty spots and the permanent home of the King.

Interesting place. We'd expected holiday chic with beautiful people, super slim Thai people speaking impeccable English. ("Hello old chap off to the beach what? It's over there.") What struck us was just how small and Petite Thai people are compared to us obese Europeans who all look like heart attacks waiting to happen. MUST change our diets when we come home.

What we got was a chaotic centre packed with bars, loud music and people selling literally everything.

And then there was all the romance. Men older than me (and that's OLD) walking hand in hand with beautiful girls much younger than my daughter. Oh how refreshing to see true love in action.

Visiting our neighbour who works as a golf pro over here. He showed us both sides of town. The other side is packed with mega-luxurious homes that cost a tenth of what they would in Europe, golf clubs, a laid-back life style and an ex-pat community enjoying the sun and doing their best to believe that they would have chosen the other ex-pats as friends had they still been living in their own countries.

Houses were out-of-this-world though.

And don't ask me if my new Lacoste is genuine. Although have bought 5 hand-made super quality shirts for the price of one Boss in Europe.

Game, set and match Williams

Always wanted to watch grand-slam tennis, so bought tickets to the Rod Laver Arena for Monday, day before Quarter finals. Saw both Williams sisters in combat, squeezed around Davydenko.

First off was the graceful Venus. Long, and athletic, she struggled a bit against an Italian opponent, whose name I don't remember. Great game. Grunts, service breaks and Venus running out as eventual winner.

Biggest talking point was her skin coloured knickers that looked like she wasn't wearing any. Loads of men had paid a fortune to watch tennis, only to consider the great debate as it were.

Nest off was Davydenko who struggled for 5 sets and 4 hours against a guy from Spain (again, can't remember his name) but quite an epic.

Problem was that the match everyone wanted to see was between the great Australian hope, Sam Stosur, and Serena. It didn't start until quite late into the afternoon session, which meant the TV company cut the match after the first set. Popular? Not.

The match was a bit of a Bambi vs Godzilla thing. Bambi had apparently won in their last encounter, but it was clear after about 3 points in wasn't going to happen twice.

Stosur has a fantastic physique. Athletic, slim, Amazonian. But Serena is like a prop forward with the strength to match. Her serve was about 50 km harder than Stosur's and not much under the guys from the last game. She was ruthless. A case of "hate to meet her on a dark night". You'd need a dark knight to save you. And if he had a tennis raquet in his hand, you'd still be chanceless.

Lovely doubles match on an exhibition court. Wilander and Laconte took on Masur of Australia and a really funny Indian bloke. Superb entertainment - and a bit of tennis too.

Back to blue

In Katoomba for another go at the Blue mountains. weather looking good - on the windy side mind so it shouldn't be a case of rain stopped play.

This whole area around Katoomba is really well planned for tourists, with gorge hikes that are raised on boardwalks to protect the habitat, and lots of interesting info points about happenings, flora and fauna as you walk around.

The things to do apart from marvel at the views are the world's steepest train down, gondola up and cable car across the gorge. Although it doesn't feel too good in a wind of about 12M/sec.
Rounded the morning off with a bit of Roo for lunch, then did had a strenuous walk around Katoomba's chic coffee places and bookshops.

Time to hop back to Melbourne and some serious tennis

Tamworth. Both kinds of music

Country AND Western. With hats, guitars, and loads of fat blokes called “slim” singing really bad songs incredibly badly, you know you’ve arrived in Australia’s largest C&W festival. AHHHHN the blanket AHHHN the GRAAAOUND. (Ugh).

Actually it was really cool. Superbly friendly family event with people dancing in the streets. (Dancing and dancing. This was the line variety. 5 people twisted one way, five the other, but at least they all had cowboy hats on).

Highlight of the event for Pia was the snake show. Great to know that Oz has the world’s most poisonous.

40 degrees today. What you might call Hot stuff.

Off back to the Blue Mountains. Hope to see it in the sun

Get high - in Armidale

Time to head home. Slowly. Went inland on the New England Highway. A parallel road to the coast that runs through the Oz hinterland. Another dose of beauty. Not spectacularly so, it looks like the best of English countryside in a sweep that seems to run forever.

They call this a highway, but even by Swedish road standards it’s quiet. The big excitement of the day was seeing another car.

Then we found Armidale, a town in high places. It’s actually the highest town in Oz at around 1500 meters. Which means it’s 35 degrees in the day, and 5 in the evening. Slept like logs when in the cool air.

Did a trip the following day taking in Amidale’s culture. A bit like one of those “world’s shortest books” jokes, but what was interesting was the aboriginal museum. We’ve deliberately kept away from that kind of thing, as we can’t stand digeridoo music (or however you spell it). But this was interesting. One guy showed the plight of his nation through some high-class art.
One painting depicted the time some natives killed a sheep farmer who’d deliberately driven his cattle into their feeding lands. They were rounded up and pushed over a cliff. The ones that refused to jump were shot. Doesn’t make you proud.

Went for nine holes of golf in hat must by definition be Oz’s highest golf course. Really disappointed that there were no wallabies on the green. Golf here is great. No showing cards, no slope system, no strict adherence to rules, just go out and have a great time. Actually makes the sport enjoyable instead of a mathematical formula.

Catch the waves, especially from the mini bus

Bin surfin. No relation to Bin Laden, but a bit worrying all the same. The instructor had the classic long-haired look without the beard. And burning eyes. No Kalashnikov on the mini bus seat if you failed to rise, so to speak.

The guy started the day as a joker (“Irish, eh, how many beers do you guys need to get board” to a party of hungover participants from Belfast). But he soon got serious, without being serious. Lot’s of warm-up stuff, stretching (he was the guy who said “it’s what hippies call yoga” – what a lovely comment). Then the technique. Some of us, certain unmentionable blonde females took to this like the proverbial duck to water. Others of us couldn’t catch a cold, never mind a wave.

But eventually, and to use another quote from said instructor, “feel the motion from the ocean”. And even people with sufflé muscles can rise more than once.

¨Feel the motion from the ocean”. What a lovely cliché. On hold till the right job comes up. Sea-U. Need a copywriter?

Wonderful, wonderful day. OK, I need to go back for another lesson, but Pia. Impressive.

And seriously, if you ever get the chance. Just do it. If you don’t you could probably twist that in Oz to “Just die hot”. The guys we went with were called style surf. www.stylesurfingbyronbay.com. When in Byron...